Monthly Archives: March 2017

BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Books

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love books. So today’s tour of the Canterbury Cathedral Library and Archives was right young alley. 

Today, among other things, we saw an original edition of Richard Hooker’s Laws of Ecclesiastical Polity; an original 1552 Book of Common Prayer; a slew of absolutely beautiful Bibles; and so much more. It was amazing to dye back in time to a period where books were beloved and treasured items. Not to mention the number of people involved in crafting these works of art. As we looked at a Book of Hours the librarian rattled off about a dozen people who were involved in the creating of an illuminated book, and that did not include people making the paper or binding the book.

This week I have been struck by the variety of stories books tell in a way I have not been before. It was as if this experience dug into my soul a bit deeper. Not only are there the stories of the text of a book, but there is also the stories the books tell over time. 

Take for example the book I have been reading this week. This week I set out to reread Thomas Merton’s Thoughts in Solitude. First, there is the beautiful theological and spiritual discourse Merton writes. Second, there is my story of the book itself. Whenever I bring a book somewhere to start reading, I pick up a bookmark from wherever I am. (I have a lot of Seven Stars book marks). More often than not, I leave that bookmark tucked in the book once I’ve finished reading. As I opened my copy of Thoughts in Solitude on Saturday (11 March 2017) a book mark fell out. It was a prayer card from Canterbury Cathedral from the last time I was here nearly six years ago. I haven’t thought about this book much over these last few years, and yet there is something about my story that connects this book with this place. I wonder if I’ll remember that the next time I travel to Canterbury? Finally, there is the story of the book before it got to me. I was given this book in June 2007 as a high school graduation gift. It was given to me by a priest in my diocese, who bought it when they were in seminary. All this tradition – all of these stories – in a single, falling apart, paperback. 

Today we saw the stories of history being told by the books on display. One of the books has a calendar of saints. Someone had very carefully taken a knife and slashed through the saint’s names. It was done so carefully that no other pages were damaged and the names were still legible. The librarian wondered with us about the story of this book. Maybe it was done during a more Protestant era, and the owner wanted to make a “good effort” to make the book less “Papist” while still being able to use it for worship. Maybe they were just hedging their bets knowing that the Protestant-Catholic pendulum would eventually swing the other way. It is a sorry that reveals something to us about religious life in England during the 16th century. 

These pages also tell another story. One name was cut out of the book, a simple slash would not do, the person had to be removed completely. It was the name for December 29 – Thomas Becket. Somewhere in this book’s history the decree of Henry VIII was carried out and thus the attempt to erase Becket from the history of this book. 

I find these stories fascinating. They are a window into the lives of the faithful throughout generations. While I knew all of these histories, today I really saw these histories. 

Tonight I give thanks for tradition, for stories, for books that invite us to step back in time and encounter the holy in New and unexpected ways. I wonder what stories you books will tell to a future generation?  


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BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Adventure

Today was our free day – really free afternoon – of the pilgrimage. After morning prayer, Eucharist, breakfast, and a visit with the Canterbury Cathedral stone masons, several of us set off for adventures in London. 

When we arrive at the St. Pancras station, some headed off to museums, others to visit friends, some went off to the theatre, and I – along with one of my dearest friends – set off on a different adventure. We went on a journey of vestments and books. (Really are you surprised?) 

We effectively did a 10.5 miles loop around the city of London. We walked from the station to Wippells and Watts. We went to the Church House Book Stire. We treated ourselves to a gorgeous lunch at the Goose & Pig across from the Royal Courts of Justice; just a few blocks from where Kaytee got her masters. We rested in the steps of Trafalgar Square gazing out of the city bathed in the emerging light of the sunset. We visited a handful of second hand bookstore and poured over theological and liturgical treasures, poetry, rare first editions, and whatever other oddities we stumbled upon. We wandered the streets of Soho and settled in for a pint whilst discussing Triduum liturgies and ordination. 

The city was amazing as always. The conversation was rich, and the company was beautiful. Today I am thankful for the gift of adventures with a sweet and gentle soul. I am thankful for the gift of wandering and seeking out the delights of our peculiar world. 

One of the treasures I picked up today was a late 19th century (1897) book titled Lays of Iona and other poems by S. J. Stone. While flipping through the pages in the stone I was in the fence about getting it until I saw a poem titled, “A Hymn Candidates for Ordination.” This peom is a beautiful expression of what has been one of my biggest struggles through the ordination process. (The whole of the poem can be read in the pictures below or on page 262 of this website). 

O my LORD, most Holy, / Summonest Thou me, / Lowliest ‘mid the lowly, / As Thyself to be? / ‘Yea, because I call thee, / Take thy priestly place, / Front what may befall thee – / Hast thou not My grace? 

. . . 

FATHER, SON, and SPIRIT, / ‘Tis Thy call of grace, / Thine election’s merit / Seals to me my place: / Lowest ‘mid the lowly, / Yet I call Thee mine: / HOLY, HOLY, HOLY / Thine, and sent to Thine. Amen. 

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BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Place 

. . . The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne / Hath in the Ram his half cours yronne . . . (Canterbury Tales, Lines 7-8) 

This place is breathtakingly beautiful.  Every time I walk out of the courtyard of the Lodge I am struck by the ever present beauty of the Cathedral. Today gave us the opportunity to learn a it more about this amazing site. 

Most of today’s program was filled with two tours: a stained glass tour and a general tour which leaned into the theological roots and dynamics of this place. I was struck in both of these tours of the deep history of this place. I was struck by the way history had contributed to the preservation and the distraction of this place. The architectural and artistic inspiration this plac has had in the world is inspiring. 

Today it was easy to imagine pilgrims through the generations coming and gazing upon this sacred space. I wondered how many pilgrims tried to pray with the same hammering house I heard throughout the cathedral today. I wondered how many people were moved to tears as they knelt before altars and shrines. I wondered how many people, like one of my tour guides, still hold anger and resentment towards “the Puritans” for destroying so much of the artistic beauty of this place.

Stepping into the Cathedral is at the same time stepping into the past and looking into the futur. This place, with all its history, is a real gift. Today I realized, in a deeper way, how important this place is to the heart of my own faith and Anglican tradition. It was a powerful and humbling experience. 

While on pilgrimage, I’ve been rereading Thomas Merton’s Thoughts in Solitude. As I sat in the Quire reading and praying before Evensong I came across these words: 

The bells say: we have spoken for centuries from the tower of great Churches. We have spoken to the saints your fathers, in their land. We called them, as we call you, to sanctity (68).  

This place has called unknown numbers if people to enter into a closet and more intimate relationship with God. This place has called me into a closet and more intimate relationship with God. Today I give thanks for the gift of this place, and the important reminder of caring for our heritage and tradition: that which has been I trusted to us so that we might pass it along to future generations. 

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BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Friendship

. . . Whan Zephirus eek with his seewte breath / Inspired hath in every holt and heeth . . . (Canterbury Tales, Lines 5-6)

As I sit here at the end of another long and fabulous day, there is one primary thought on my mind: The Church is so lucky that the Berkeley Seniors are about to be unleashed on it. 

Today we took an excursion out of Canterbury to Coventry: particularly we went to Coventry Cathedral, the home of the Community of the Cross of Nails (CCN). This visit is an important part of the senior pilgrimage as Berkeley is a partner site of the CCN. Each and every Friday we pray the Litany of Reconciliation from this community as a sign of this relationship and partnership. 

We arrived in Coventry just in time to pray the Litany of Reconciliation – something they do every weekday at 12noon.  After the Litany it was off to a CCN presentation, which was followed by a tour of the Cathedral ruins and the new Cathedral. It was a powerful experience, particularly to stand in those ruins. It is remarkable to stand in front of the altar, to see the words “Father Forgive” carved into the East wall. It was powerful to recognize what a powerful, countercultural message of faith these words were when they were first written in the midst of war, and how powerful they remain today as our society is increasingly divided and torn by strife.  

After the tour a group of us found our way to a local pub to grab something to eat and, most importantly, to process and debrief what we had just experienced. We spoke passionately about our experiences and understandings of reconciliation. We thought critically and intentionally about the ministry of Coventry Cathedral – honoring its strengths and naming places where we disagreed with its message. The conversation continued on to look at our own Berkeley community – particularly our class with all its strengths and weaknesses. There was truth telling, difficult conversation, hurts were named, and apologies were offered.  From there we had a very spirited conversation about the use of gendered language in worship and the status and role of the US Episcopal Church in the Global Communion. 

The conversation was good, thoughtfully and intense. One classmate remarked how rare these conversations are, and wondered where the Church would be if more conversations like this happened. There are theee guiding principles of CCN: healing the wounds of history; learning to live with difference and celebrate diversity; and, building a culture of peace. In many ways it felt like our time at the pub this afternoon was a small embodiment of this work of reconciliation. 

This conversation gave me hope for the Church. Here was a fairly random cross section of our class – a group that does not normally spend time together – challenging and pushing one another. Speaking with great passion and care for the Church. This is a group that loves the Church, and is passionate, and articulate. Most importantly this groups wants to hold the Church accountable as faithful followers of Jesus. 

We made the lengthy trip back to Canterbury. A trip filled with conversations about alternative gender neutral trinitarian language and some belting out Whitney Houston. Upon arrival back in Canterbury, a group of us – another sort of random group – made our way out in the town. After a few pints at the oldest pub in Canterbury we found ourselves grabbing dinner at a highly recommended (rightly so) Indian restaurant. This dinner was an amazing experience of fellowship. We shared our stories, listening to one another with car and support. Most importantly, we laughed. We laughed a lot. 

This time of fellowship gives me hope for the Church. What an amazing gift to gather with folks I have not spent much time with in these last three years. To share stories and lift one another up. To be colleagues and friends.  The Church needs leaders who take what they do seriously but do not take themselves too seriously. The Church needs leaders who can laugh – and laugh at themselves. Boy did we laugh at ourselves tonight. In that laughter we strengthened relationships that will hopefully be sustaining to us as we transition out of seminary and into ordained life (God willing). 

As we walked the streets of Coventry and Canterbury I found myself filled with great hope and excitement for the Church. I cannot wait to see what amazing ministries my colleagues – my friends – are about to begin. I cannot wait to see how we will change the Church. 

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BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Prayer

. . . and bathed every veyne in swich licour / of which vertu engendred is the four . . . (Canterbury Tales, lines 3-4) 

Today has been a day all about prayer. Now, yes, that is the whole point of a pilgrimage, but today I was in particular awe of the gift of prayer. 

Some of my experience of prayer is identical to that of my reflection on community. This place really is a community of prayer. Today we got to experience: morning prayer, sung Eucharist, evensong, and compline. It is a true gift to join with people from near and far to offer our prayers and praise to God. I have a sense that with each passing day I will experience more of the depth of prayer in this place. Today I was keenly aware of the thickness of prayer each and every time I stepped foot into the Quire. Throughout the day – as a result of this spiritual treasure trove – I became increasingly aware that something in my own spiritual life was being untangled. I was – and am – experiencing the important transformational aspect of Pilgrimage. 

In addition to joining in the corporate prayer life of the Cathedral, we got to experience three other profound moments of prayer. 

First, this afternoon we spent time at St. Augustine’s Abbey. A community established by Augustine of Canterbury as a contemporary with the Cathedral. Unlike the Cathedral, the Abbey is in ruins. There was something incredibly poignant about standing in the middle of rubble and looking virtually across to the street to see the Cathedral tower and the Cathedral bells rang through the silence. A remarkable happenstance of history.

The most powerful moment for me was one in which I was confronted by the realities of my vocation. To stand in front of an altar in ruins on the verge of ordination and to reflect on the countless faithful men (prior to women’s ordination) who celebrated the Sacrament at that altar was, and is, humbling and beyond words. It really puts into perspective that profound gift, honor, and privilege it is to be called to the priesthood. 

The second experience of note was our class reflection time. We have been granted permission to use All Saints’ Chapel. This is a beautiful – virtually secret – chapel. Up a narrow staircase, behind a “private” door we gathered to reflect and pray for one another. To be tucked away in an intimate setting was a tangible reminder about how important it is that we pray for each other. 

Finally, tonight after a delicious dinner at   the Deanery, the Dean took us on a candle lit tour of the Cathedral. As we walked the Dean spoke about the ethos of the Cathedral as a place of prayer for all Christians; and that we Anglicans are merely stewards of this great gift. We went from the West doors to the compass rose (currently covered due to renovations); to the Thomas Becket shrine then down to the crypt. We concluded by standing around Augustine’s throne and then moving one last time to circle around the candle which marks the spot of the original Becket shrine before it was destroyed by order of Henry VIII. Like so many things thus far, there are no words to describe what that moment was like – what the whole experience was like. All I can muster to say is, “wow.”

After telling us about the importance of the Cathedral as a space of protection and intimacy, I found the Dean’s closing prayer all the more powerful:

Almighty God, whose most dear Son went not up to joy but first he suffered pain, and entered not into glory before he was crucified: Mercifukky grant that we, walking in the way of the cross, may find it none other than the way of life and peace; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord. 

In a day of profound prayer, I could not have thought of a more perfect prayer. May we all find life and leave through the Cross of Christ. 

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BDS Canterbury Tales: The Gift of Community

“Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote / The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote . . .” (Canterbury Tales, Lines 1-2) 

What a day, or should I say days! 

The Quire prior to the evening concert

We left New Haven at 4:30pm on Friday 10 March and arrived at the Canterbury Lodge at 1:15pm on Saturday 11 March. Since arrive on the Close our day has been very full. Lunch, time with the deal, Choral Evensong, dinner, and an evening concert. We certainly are making the most of it time here. 

Thus far, I have really been struck by community. The community here at Canterbury is amazing. There is a real sense that this is not just some ecclesiastical tourism destination – it is, first and foremost, a community of faith and it has been so for nearly 1000 years. It is amazing to listen to the Dean speak of the community here and how the daily schedule of worship is at the heart of everything they do. I find it truly remarkable to have a community so dedicated to maintaining the full and rich daily liturgical pattern of the Church. In some ways, it still feels like a monastic abbey. 

In addition to the present day community, there is also a powerful understanding of the community of all believes – past, present, and yet to come. As I entered the cathedral for evensong and took my place in the quire, I immediately felt the weight of prayer in this place. I was deeply moved by the rich tradition of Canterbury pilgrims that I am now apart of. No wonder I was moved to tears as the choir offer an absolutely beautiful time of prayer. Today was the perfect example of why I love evensong so much – even when it is choral evensong and not congregational evensong. What a gift to add m my own prayers to this well prayers place. 

I cannot write about the profoundness of community in this place without writing about my fellow pilgrims. There are 18 of us on this trip – 18 very different people. It is no secret that our class has not always been the most unified, but I cannot imagine being here without these 17 other people. The conversations and levels of sharing are already so deep – even on this first day. Tonight I learned things about my cohort I never had the opportunity to learn before. As our time together comes to an end, I am particularly thankful to spend this time together with my cohort. What an incredible gift. 

As a group of us walked back to the lodge tonight, we entered the courtyard and turned around to marvel at the beauty of the cathedral lit up in the hazy night sky. What a perfect end to this first day of pilgrimage. 

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Sermon: The First Sunday in Lent

Below is my sermon from the First Sunday in Lent, preached at my sponsoring parish, The Church of the Redeemer.  The lessons can be found here.  The recording can be listed to below, or over on the parish website.  The manuscript is also included below.  As always, comments and feedback welcome. 

This being the First Sunday in Lent, it seems a fitting time to make my confession to all of you. I love binge-watching TV: sitting for hours, zoning out the rest of the world, getting immersed in a show, and savoring those moments of escape from reality.

At the moment one of my favorite shows to binge-watch is the Fox comedy series Lucifer. lucifer_s2_1536x2048

In the show, Lucifer, the original fallen angel, has become dissatisfied with life in Hell so he retires to Los Angeles where he becomes a famous nightclub owner. Eventually Lucifer teams up with a female detective and becomes a consultant for the LA Police Department. Throughout the show, Lucifer has this mysterious way of finding out peoples deepest, darkest secrets.

He leans in closely.
Stares them directly in the eyes, and in his smoothest voice he asks;
“What do you desire?”

While this motif is frequently used in the show to get criminals to confess their crimes, or informants to give up information, I find it to be a deeply theological question. In fact, the question, “What do you desire?” is the primary question we wrestle with in our lessons today.

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other wild animal that the Lord God had made.” This opening verse to the third chapter of Genesis introduces us to a new character – the serpent. The serpent is a wild animal, not a demon or the devil, who can speak to humans, and has understanding of divine things. The serpent bridges the boundaries between animals, humans, and God and effectively elicits the desire to break the boundary between human and God. In the exchange between the serpent and Eve we witness the unfolding of the human desire to be like God. The serpent, through this conversation, intentionally manipulates this desire and offers humanity an invitation to question the commands of God.

The serpent encourages Eve, “no you will not die if you eat this fruit, you will see.”
You will be able to stand in God’s place and determine what is good and evil.
You will be able to make decisions that, until this point, have been left for God alone to make.
You will be able to make decisions based on your desires.

When Adam and Eve give in to their desires to have their eyes opened, to gain more knowledge, to have power like that of God’s, there is a break in the relationship with God and humanity. The innate desire of humanity to desire God above all else becomes obscured by temptation. In this way, both the serpent and God are right in their declarations of consequences from eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Indeed the eyes of Adam and Eve were opened, but that new vision leads to sin, their expulsion from paradise, and ultimately it leads to death. From the very beginning of creation we see the human capacity to give way to temptation and choose something other than God.

This struggle is one for all of humanity: from that moment in the garden until this very day. No one escapes the dangers of wrestling with temptation. Not even Jesus.

This morning’s Gospel passage focuses on Jesus facing the very same temptations that all of humanity struggles with. It focuses on Jesus encountering Satan in the wilderness. But who exactly is this Satan character Jesus encounters?

Commentators have noted that Satan in this passage, is the same as the Hebrew Satan found in other parts of scripture particularly in the opening chapters of Job. This is actually a very important distinction. The Satan we encounter in Job, the Satan we encounter here in Matthew, is not the same Satan that has captured our contemporary culture’s imagination. It is not the character with horns, a pointed tail, and a pitchfork. It is not the mythical beast associated with the Book of Revelation that torments and tortures sinner for all eternity.

It is Haśśatan.
The Accuser.

Haśśatan, translated the Satan, is an agent of God. In the Book of Job we learn that the job of Haśśatan is to test humanity on God’s behalf – to see who will stay faithful to God and who will fall to temptation. If the Satan that Jesus encounters in the wilderness is in fact this same Satan we encounter in Job that means Jesus is being tested to see if he will truly stay faithful to God or become trapped by the weight of temptation. This testing is an important aspect of where this story falls in Matthew’s narrative.

This morning’s passage is the final part of a section in Matthew sometimes referred to as The Commissioning of the Messiah:

First, the coming of the Messiah has ben heralded by John the Baptist.
Second, Jesus has been Baptized and proclaimed the Beloved of God.
Now, before Jesus begins his public ministry he must be tested.
Can Jesus stay faithful to his call – to his identity – as the Divine Son of God?
Can Jesus be tempted in every way as we are – sharing fully in what it means to be human – and not sin?

Prior to the completion of his commissioning, Jesus shows us exactly how we are to respond to temptation. Jesus shows us that as children of God – as beloved of God – as baptized persons it is our job to stay faithful to the call God has given each and everyone of us.

In the first temptation, after Jesus has fasted for 40 days and 40 nights, Satan tempts Jesus with food, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to becomes loaves of bread.”
Jesus refuses.
In this response Jesus faithfully remembers that he is totally dependent upon God.

In the second temptation, Jesus is transported to the top of the mountain where Satan tempts him to test God – to see if God will really protect him. Satan even quotes scripture to try to trap Jesus.
Again Jesus refuses.
Jesus’ answer points to the reality that honoring God excludes every kind of manipulation, including putting God to the test.

In the final temptation, Jesus is yet again taken to the top of a very high mountain and is offered the power to rule over the entire world in exchange for worshiping Satan.
One final time, Jesus refuses.
In this Jesus’ commissioning is complete. Jesus has proven his undivided loyalty to God.

The very same things that Jesus is tempted by tempt us as well: food, protection, power. But beyond each of these individual categories the underlying temptation is to treat God as less than God. To take on power that belongs to God alone. To make ourselves like God. To have our eyes opened that we might decide what is good and evil based on our own personal desires.

Jesus’ witness through these temptations offers us the perfect image of our humanity. Jesus shows us what is possible if we only trust in God with the fullness and entirety of our beings.

This is the struggle we are forced to wrestle with in this Lenten season. Our Lenten penitence engages the dark places in our lives – the places where we choose to see through the lens of our desires instead of choosing to see through the eyes of God – that we might come face to face with them, name them, understand them, and seek forgiveness for them. It is not about guilt. It is about freedom from the control that our fears and insecurities have over us all. Lent is the most brutally realistic liturgical season of the year – it is a time when we tell truth about ourselves, our brokenness, our mortality, and nevertheless trust in God’s redemptive love. This is exactly what Paul is trying to draw our attention to.

In this section of Romans, Paul gives a powerful reflection of the magnitude of sin and death, and on the even greater abundance of God’s grace in Christ. Paul writes, “For just as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.” It does not matter how many times we choose to be like Adam, God’s saving grace through Jesus redeems us all. Through the saving act of love on the cross, God takes all of our sinfulness, all of our brokenness, even our morality and transforms them into righteous and everlasting life with God. Paul is reminding us that through the abundance of God’s grace we have the ability to no longer choose ourselves but to live as servants of God and inheritors of eternal life.

This is the completion of the journey that began with Adam and Eve eating a piece of fruit. From the moment of that initial division between God and humanity, God has desired for us to return to our full and right relationship with God. It is a return that is made possible in the person of Jesus, but will not be completed until the Kingdom of God has been fully realized, until we enter the heavenly city, the New Jerusalem; until we return to the garden.

As we begin our Lenten pilgrimage again, we ask God to strength us that we might not fall into sin nor be overcome by adversity. We ask God to transform our desires so that they might be God’s desires. We ask God to be with us in our prayers and in our fasts that we might experience once again the grace and joy of seeing the face of God. May our journey never end, may our hearts never be satisfied, until we are fully restored in God’s image.


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